I just want to let any brides that are about to read my post know that this is not a post bashing a newly engaged bride or one that will be getting married tomorrow or any bride in between. It is simply me trying to explain this frustration I encountered when a friend of mine who is also planning her wedding started talking to me about hers. Now I love all things weddings right now (as most girls planning their own wedding do) but I was irrationally angry when this friend of mine started talking as if she was dealing with the same trials I am going through. I didn't know why it bothered me so much when she is really a fellow comrade in arms, but something about the fact that most of her major wedding details hadn't been planned yet just got me in a mood, and not the good kind either! I thought maybe she was trying to grab attention, but it was only an exchange between the two of us over lunch, so I left the conversation feel hurt and a bit perplexed.
I went home and consulted a few of my friends who have recently (within the last 3 years for all) gotten married and what they thought about this, was I just getting overly sensitive as the date was getting closer? I was told by not just one friend of mine, but all three I chatted with that I was not crazy or sensitive. One explained what was going on very well and what I wasn't really able to put into words she totally got with me having to do minimal explanation.
A bride who is more than 2 or 3 months out on her wedding is still in Fantasy Bride land. She is getting to pick out all the big lovely things that will make her big day exactly what she wants it to be; her venue, photographer, dress, caterer, etc. However, once you hit that 2 month mark things change into Real Bride land. This is where all the tiny details have to be decided, dead lines must be met, time tables and lists made and also the manual labor of putting all those last things together that transform a mainly ordinary day into your Wedding Day.
Heads up Fantasy Brides!! You can't start buying accessories until you find your dress and you can't start planning center pieces until you book your venue, general ideas great, precise things no. While you may think right now you know exactly what you want, things don't always go that way. A form fitting gown may not look great on you. Your ideal venue may be remodeling and flowers aren't always in season no matter how badly you want them. And let me just warn you about a rare event you may just witness and have to deal with in the planning of your wedding. A groom that wants to be very involved!!! Shocking, I know. While I didn't have one of these, Josh is more along the lines of tell me when to show up, I have had a very close friend who's now husband was potentially more interested in the planing than she was. This isn't a bad thing, but take a moment to realize that if you do have this type of fiance then it will be more of an uphill battle to satisfy both your wants.
So, unless you have been to that 2 month mark you just don't get it. It doesn't matter if you were your best friends go to person or the best maid of honor that existed, you won't get it till you hit that mark. The stress is crazy overwhelming and not only that you start to question yourself. Will my center pieces look alright with the size of the table? Will everyone think the favors look cheap? Did people actually recieve their invitations? Should I have gotten bridesmaid dresses with straps instead of strapless? And for me the most important one, will things look like they go together or will it look like a poorly coordinated 10 year old's birthday party?!?!?!
Right now you maybe thinking to yourself "I never got that worried" or maybe "this whole wedding thing sounds ridiculous." Well I have a few different responses which you may pick to suit your taste, choose your own adventure style...
1) If you said "Brittany, I totally get what your saying", then Thank You!! You are awesome and probably went through or are going through all the things I am right now.
2) If you said "Brittany, I was never that nervous", then you either have nerves of steal in which case I bow down to you OR your wedding might have been a smaller or more laid back version in which case I would apply my bigger bombs cause more destruction theory (we will go over this theory later since it has several requirements such as bombs being composed of the same material etc. to make it valid).
3) If you said "Brittany, I am totally not a Fantasy Bride, your post is major insulting!!!", I say reread this when you are down to just 2 months and assess the situation again.
and last
4) If you said "Brittany, you need to chill the F*%& out!", I would say you are probably a guy and this post is something you could not possibly relate to.
Any other thoughts and you can leave a comment and I will tell you what I think about that!
In summary, you may think newly engaged wedding planner gets what 2 months till the big day engaged wedding planner is going through, but you don't and I am not crazy.
Annnnd End Rant
